2nd Chronicles chapter 11. Retaliate versus Reconciliate.
When King Rehoboam was rejected by Israel he immediately became angry and was ready to get revenge. He quickly round up a hundred and eighty thousand men to fight against Israel, but God said don't do it. King Rehoboam did not seek God for wisdom or direction. Why?
1. Because his ego was hurt?
2. Because of pride? He didn't want to be king just over Judah but also of Israel.
3. The need for power? As if to say I don't want to be king over just a little bit (Judah) but of a lot (Judah and Israel).
Sadly, I can think of several times in life when I have wanted to retaliate or get revenge against someone who offended me.
1. Sometimes I have retaliated against someone with gossip and made sure I said things that made them look bad and me good. Never did I pray to God about the situation nor for them.
2. Sometimes I envisioned in my mind hurting that person because I was so angry and hurt.
3. Sometimes I got in actual fist fights with them.
4. Sometimes I argued with them with anger and hate.
5. Over the years and with some maturity there has been times when I worked out differences or I prayed for them. I have even done acts of kindness to them.
Unfortunately, I find that the first instinct is to retaliate and get revenge. So here are some thoughts:
1. Retaliation or revenge most often results in increase hatredness and bitterness which results in a lifetime of two angry parties constantly at each other's throats. Plus it could sink into other family members and build a world of hatredness between, not just two people, but families.
2. Seeking reconciliation through prayer for a person, or acts of kindness toward them or even meeting together to work out differences, I find, most often, is most productive.
Don't get me wrong. Reconciliation is not guaranteed when one prays for another or does acts of kindness for them. It's not even guaranteed if you go and try and talk with them. Our primary reason for doing all this is not for some guaranteed outcome. We do it because God asks us to. God knows that the best option is love and brings about the best outcome. But if we don't get the outcome we wanted then we can at least say we didn't get sucked into their hatredness. At least our heart will be right with God as we continue to love them. Let's be able to stand before God with a pure heart and not one of hate and bitterness. Let's do what Jesus challenged us to do in Matthew 5:43-45a
“You have heard that it was said, love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”
We read in this chapter that Rehoboam was with 78 women and that he fathered 88 children. It’s difficult for me to imagine what exactly that would be like. That would certainly be a lot of birthdays to remember! My wife, Donna and I have 5 children and that seems challenging enough for me to keep up with at times.
I was reminded from the chapter today about doing what we can to live in peace with everyone as we see in Romans 12:18. I took a look at that verse and more verses in Romans 12 today. There’s just so much there! I realize that I haven’t mastered these instructions as I’m still a work in progress, but I do want to put this passage into practice that I’m sharing from Romans 12:9-21.
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.