Good morning you guys. 2nd Samuel chapter 14.
I gave a title to this chapter: Unforgiveness.
King David struggled to forgive his son Absalom. He longed to see him but he refused to see his face for well over two years after Absalom killed King David's other son.
It takes time to get over hurt and pain. If someone hurts us, we are quick to retaliate or to ostracize them. We feel justified by our actions.
If someone murdered my daughter, it would take a lot of time to forgive them. It would be very hard.
Forgiveness is easier for some people versus others. I feel I am very quick to forgive another person. But we all have a breaking point where it becomes very very difficult.
The truth is, we all need to learn to forgive. God forgives me every day for sin I committed against him when I think bad thoughts or ignore God because I want to pursue a selfish ACT versus pursuing God. I don't deserve it but he forgives me.
So why are we so self-righteous? Why do we try and convince others that our unforgiveness is justified. We say, well this person did THIS to me or did That to me as if to say, I'm justified for my unforgiveness because of what THEY DID TO ME!!
Think About It. If someone murdered my child and I can't forget them how am i any different than the murderer? People often kill out of hate for another. To forgive someone requires love for the other which is why God can forgive us no matter what we do because he truly truly truly loves us. To have unforgiveness is to harbor hate. Isn't hate the reason this whole thing started? Someone hated another and killed them! Now we hate the person for hating our child HELLO? I'M NO DIFFERENT THAN THE MURDERER! We both are haters. 1st JOHN 3:11-15 says DON'T BE LIKE CAIN WHO MURDERED HIS BROTHER. And it says DON'T HATE ANOTHER, FOR ANYONE WHO HATES ANOTHER IS A MURDER. We need the empowerment of the HOLY SPIRIT to help us love one another and therefore forgive one another. No matter what they did.
Help me Lord not to be so self-righteous that i justify my sin of unforgiveness because of a sin committed against me. Help me to love and help me to forgive no matter what was done!
I think Jeanine hit the nail on the head with what she wrote yesterday and I think that it’s worth repeating again. “David may have failed to address his son’s sin because he listened to the enemy whispering in his ear that he also had sinned with Bathsheba. As parents, we have to beware that the enemy seeks our weaknesses to use them against us and keep us from doing what is right in our responsibility to our children.”
I think this is so true and it was exactly what was happening with David. Two years went by from the time that Amnon had raped Tamar. David was angry, but he failed to do anything about what Amnon had done. Absalom decided to take action and then he fled to Geshur for three years after killing Amnon. While we read that David’s heart went out to Absalom, David again didn’t take any action. It took Joab in using the woman from Tekoa to get David to agree to have Absalom brought out of banishment, but even then David had Joab go and bring him back instead of going himself. Absalom was in Jerusalem for another two years, but he didn’t go into David’s presence during that time. Peace, healing and forgiveness may sometimes come over a certain length of time, but I don’t think that was the case here in this situation. It appeared that David’s silent treatment and the broken relationship between this father and son got even worse as time went by. I think that Absalom was feeling trapped like a prisoner in Jerusalem. He felt ignored and he eventually had Joab’s field set on fire just to even get Joab’s attention and response. David had all of this time to go to Absalom, to tell him that he loved him, to forgive him, and to work on improving their relationship. That isn’t what happened. We read in the last verse that David kissed Absalom, but this was simply too little, too late. We didn’t see any other signs of love or forgiveness from David during all of this time. If only David would have taken steps towards reconciliation sooner, things may have been able to go in a different direction. Instead David’s inaction only seemed to add more bitterness and thoughts by his son to turn against him.
With Pastor Blair’s title of Unforgiveness for today’s chapter, I was reflecting on how Jesus talked about forgiveness right after the Lord’s prayer. I’m sharing these words that Jesus spoke from Matthew 6:9-15.
Pray then like this:
“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
We have seen David’s heart through our daily readings and now we see more of what is in Absalom’s heart. It’s not good. He continually takes matters into his own hands. Without his father or anyone else to keep him in check, he pretty much does what he wants.
Now, 5 years (3 years in Gershur and 2 years in Jerusalem) after he killed his brother who also happened to be ahead of him in the line for the throne, he isn’t getting the attention of the king or the court life he desires. David loves his son but he can’t completely forgive him. He puts conditions on his forgiveness. (He can come to Jerusalem but I won’t’ see him.) Bitterness is growing in Absalom’s heart and he reaches out in a bad way as we see when he burns Joab’s field. It works in getting him front and center with his father but as Jim said, the reconciliation comes too late.
Thank you, Father, that your forgiveness to us is unconditional. You tell us in Psalm 103:12 that once we ask for forgiveness, our sin and iniquities are as far as the east is from the west. Our sin is forgiven and forgotten – yes, there are consequences for our sin that we will need to face while here on earth but you have forgotten our sins. Help us to forgive others unconditionally. We thank and praise you for your amazing grace.