Psalm 51. Will I ever be able to be used by God again?
I love you All!
This chapter is a song by King David after he was confronted by Nathan the prophet when David committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband killed.
I broke this down into three sections based upon this chapter. And then I wrote it from a first-person perspective so as to help me understand what David was going through.
1. I HAVE SINNED:
I can't forget what I did. God warned me and I didn't listen. I'm haunted with my sin. I hurt people. I broke trust. I'll live with this for the rest of my life. The bottom line is, I hurt God!
2. I WANT FORGIVENESS:
I plead for it over and over and over and over again. The guilt of my sin haunts me so I feel like I can never be clean again. I feel as if I will never be whole again. I feel So unworthy to carry the name of Jesus. I feel So unworthy to do the work of the Lord again. I don't feel worthy to carry the name Christian. I can't forgive myself and I wonder if others could forgive me. I want them to.
3. I WANT TO BE RESTORED:
I want to be restored by God to good spiritual health so I can be used again by the Holy Spirit. I want to be able to praise the Lord again and rejoice.
Restoration starts with a broken spirit and broken heart. Lord I bring both to you.
Build Me Up God, as only you can. I have people compliment me, look up to me, trust me, but I have failed. Build me up so I feel Worthy. Make me worthy again. Make me worthy to carry the name Christian. May my life have meaning again. Use me in ministry again.
I can only imagine what David went through.
This is one of the reasons that we love and respect David so much – he isn’t afraid to pour out his heart in honesty to the Lord. After all, the Lord already knows our heart. David wasn’t perfect any more than you and me … but he loved the Lord with all his heart and he wasn’t afraid to humble himself and ask for forgiveness when he stumbled and fell. Lord, make me brave that I can be as honest as David was with you in my own failures, trusting in you, my wonderful creator.
I was thinking about how so many of us have been where David was when he wrote the words found in verse 10. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”