Job Chapter 13. Don't worry, there is more fish in the sea!
Again Job declares his innocence with his friends and calls their counseling worthless.
1. Job's energy is spent on trying to find out from God why he's living in pain and terror.
2. Job's friends' energy is consistently on saying Job is a sinner which explains his pain and terror.
If someone is not going through pain, it's easy to give shallow counseling, meaning, without being connected to the person one is counseling.
For example, your friend is in great pain because his girlfriend broke up with him. And your advice is, “Get over it, there's more fish in the sea!” Okay, a true statement, but you are insensitive to the empty hole in his heart after they dated together for two or more years.
When trying to encourage someone you have to put yourself into the other person's shoes and try and feel their pain so you can give, not just godly advice, but advice that strongly implies to them that you truly do care and understand their pain.
Shallow, disconnected advice does nothing to help others but instead makes others feel valueless or even more without hope.
Being connected with the person doesn't mean you shouldn't give tough to hear advice, it means you can give it, and it will be received more openly because they sense your Love and understanding behind it.
When you talk with someone, be connected and put yourself into their shoes. Give counsel, even if it's tough counsel, but make sure it's backed with love and humility and understanding. We can't be flippant with our words.
As a side note, asking questions often help the person find revelation better than trying to give them revelation.
In fact sometimes our best counsel is to say nothing but be a listening ear. And as the person talks and shares their pain, God reveals himself to them and they walk away knowing what they need to do next, without you having to say a word.
I agree that sometimes it is best to be silent and simply listen. May God help us to know when we should speak and when we shouldn’t.
Verse 5 reminded me of Proverbs 17:28.
Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.