2nd Samuel chapter 13.
David's son, Amnon, was obsessed with his sister Tamar. Both had different mothers. His obsession allowed him to be deceptive in trying to capture her heart. His obsession eliminated moral boundaries in order to obtain that which he desired. As a result he did evil in trying to gain that which he desired. What he found out was that he ended up hating the very thing he supposedly loved.
I'm not certain this is true in every case, but I have come to the conclusion that we either love someone or something, or we are obsessed with someone or something. They are not the same thing.
Here are the ingredients that I feel are present in LOVE and OBSESSION.
- Ingredients of LOVING SOMEONE:
– I Corinthians 13.
– Romans 12:10 Putting others above self.
– Respect
– Making Sacrifices
– Forgiveness
– Perseverance
– Willing to lay down one's own life.
- Ingredients for LOVING SOMETHING:
– You enjoy it but you also want to be able to use it for God's glory. It's not ALL about self.
– You are willing to give it up for the sake of the Kingdom if so need to.
- Ingredients of OBSESSED with SOMEONE:
– Controlling
– Demanding
– Lack Respect
– Expect others to make sacrifices.
– It's more about self vs the other person.
- Ingredients of OBSESSED with SOMETHING.
– Want, want, want while thinking you need, need, need.
– Its purpose is to gratify self more than it is to be a blessing to others.
– It's gratification is short-lived. You continue on to something new often.
What Tamar had to experience in this chapter reminded me in some ways of what happened to Dinah back in Genesis 34 and how her brothers got revenge.
David had problems with his children in the way that they were treating each other. Other than getting angry, it doesn’t seem to me like David did anything to deal with Amnon because of what he did to Tamar. Two years went by and Absalom decided to kill Amnon. It’s sad to read about the breakdown of David’s family.
I’m reminded today of Ephesians 6:4.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
This is another tough section of Scripture to read. But, the Lord has recorded it to share some good lessons with us. There is a difference between lust and love. Pastor Blair shared a good Bible reference for what love is – 1 Corinthians 13.
David may have failed to address his son’s sin because he listened to the enemy whispering in his ear that he also had sinned with Bathsheba. As parents, we have to beware that the enemy seeks our weaknesses to use them against us and keep us from doing what is right in our responsibility to our children.
We can never forget that the battleground is the same for all of us – it is for our souls. The appetites of our flesh are always there. We have a choice. Will we give in to a moment of pleasure with a lifetime of consequences? Will our souls be controlled by the Spirit or by the stuff of the world? The way to overcome lust is to flee – get yourself out of the situation – and spend time in the Word and with your fellow believers (accountability).