2nd Samuel chapter 2.
Once again God's promise was fulfilled. When Saul was disobedient God had told him the kingdom would be split. That there would eventually be two kings: one for Israel and one for Judah.
David became king over Judah and Saul's son became king over Israel.
Once the kings were established a civil like war broke out with close to 400 men dying. My question is, “Was it necessary?”
It became the Battle of two egos. MY MEN ARE BETTER THAN YOUR MEN. Like a child who says, MY DAD CAN BEAT UP YOUR DAD. Or like a teenager starting a fight with another person at a football game. When egos get in the way, destruction happens. Someone's going to get hurt or die.
When egos are challenged what is a good response? Here are my thoughts.
1. Walk away! And 2. Don't even engage in a conversation.
The world says the strongest person is the one still standing after a battle. I believe the strongest person it's the one who is able to prevent a battle.
If the EGO issue is between a husband and wife or two close relationships, then I feel it has to go deeper then walking away or not engaging in conversation. I still feel it may be necessary to walk away but that is only so as to get one's thoughts together so that the words you speak are not inspired by ones ego, but rather inspired by wisdom, preferably God's wisdom. That way a resolution can be reached without a devastating hurtful battle brought on by unnecessary words.
In this chapter we see more senseless division, fighting and killing that takes place from unnecessary words. It’s a constant reminder to me that we live in a sin-cursed world and that the wages of sin is death (Romans 3:23 & 6:23). Our words are powerful. It might not always be easy to hold back from saying the first thing that might come into our minds, but we need to be careful with how we use our words especially when we might already be in a situation that has caused us to be angry.
Here are a few questions to ask ourselves.
1. Are my words building someone up or tearing them down?
2. Are my words helping to put out a fire or adding unnecessary fuel to it?
3. Are my words showing love or hate?
I’m thinking of a few verses about strife that we find in Proverbs.
Proverbs 10:12
“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”
Proverbs 13:10
“By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.”
Proverbs 20:3
“It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.”